Barack Obama Announces His Plan to Run For Historic Third Term

Posted by Staff on April 01, 2014

Barack Obama Announces His Plan to Run For Historic Third Term

Honolulu: Speaking from his Hawaii home, President Obama announced today that he intends to run for President again in 2016.

"The dangers facing America are too great to change horses mid-race", he continued "Republicans are assaulting my agenda on all sides, and America needs to continue along a progressive agenda." 
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Before he wrapped up his statement he did note the Constitutional hurdle facing a third term. "Some voices will say that I can't run for a third term. I urge you to reject those voices."

Campaign Manager David Plouffe immediately released the planks of Obama's third campaign.

"For too long deceased Americans have been denied the right to vote. Voting is a right, and those who reside in cemeteries should have the Constitutional ability to cast their vote for the Democrat of their choosing", he went further "The racist Republican party has denied the dearly departed vote for too long. Let me be clear. This. Will. Not. Stand."


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Other planks include repealing the Second Amendment, expanding American citizenship to all Muslims, and building a bridge from San Diego to Honolulu.

"Let me be clear. It's time lower-income Americans who can't afford plane tickets have the ability to drive to my home state." stated Obama.

Reactions across Capitol Hill were mixed. Some Democrats and Republicans immediately called for a resolution supporting the move.

"We should crown Barack Obama King of America!" exclaimed Sheila Jackson Lee the Democratic Congresswoman from Houston, Texas.

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However, Senator Rand Paul (R) Kentucky slammed the announcement as "another piece of the already shredded Constitution" and vowed to sue Barack Obama in Federal Court.